Monday, March 2, 2009

I learned from Jim Royal


In my time of knowing Jim Royal he was one of the most accepting individuals I've ever met. There was almost a childlike quality about the way he cared for people. It wasn't naiveté or innocence, but a lack of pretension and societal constraint. Jim didn't really care about the value others placed on people like that. He loved people because he loved them. He loved to his own personal "Jim Limit" and there aren't many of us who can say they do the same. He didn't need qualifiers to accept someone.

Growing up, my father often told me "you can learn something from everyone: you can learn how to do something or how not to something." Sadly, Jim's life taught me a little of both.

Jim was a free spirit. In his passing I've seen the profound effect he's had on his friends and family by just being himself. At his wake I saw old grudges being cast away, people who often never speak to each other finally opening up to one another and a lot of fun being had. That's Jim. That's what he would have wanted for us. That's what his “will.” He left us good will. But there's an irony to all that.

Jim loved everyone more than he loved himself. I don't know the man well enough to articulate his demons, but it was apparent there was something eating at him that he couldn't let go of. Watching the way he cared for others and the way he cared for himself was odd. If Jim were his own friend, he would have never allowed the things he did to be done to that friend. That's the other thing I've learned from Jim. You've got to be a friend to yourself. You’ve' got to love yourself as much as you love other people.

Jim, we always loved you man. We always will and I don't think you had a problem seeing that. I only hope that those you loved so much will begin to love themselves as much as you loved them too. In the end, that's all you ever wanted for any of us and really, that's all any of us ever wanted for you.

Jim's friends were protective of him and that can be attributed to the level of friendship he put out. If anyone finds my words offensive, I apologize in advance. I thought the world of Jim and don't think he would take offense to what I've written.